What Can I Do When A Parent Refuses To Visit The Child

The parenting schedule is signed and is court ordered, but the other parent doesn't show up or refuses to come. Next comes the call to my office what can be done.

Over the many years I have had parents call and complain that the other parent is ignoring the child, not visiting as per the order and causing heartache. Unfortunately, the only real consequence might be financial as the court cannot make a parent visit their child.

Parents who don't come as scheduled or who cut their visits short ultimately suffer as does their child from the weak or broken relationship with their child. However, the court will not make a parent get in their car and take their child for the specified period. On the other hand, the custodial parent is able to enjoy more time with their child. There are reasons why a parent might legitimately not be able to visit such as illness, military deployment, distance, family emergency and work schedule.

A parent that intentionally, without good reason, refuses to visit might have to pay increased child care costs if the custodial parent incurs that expense due to their own work or educational schedule. A non-visiting last minute cancelling parent might have to pay 100% of the expense for a last minute child care provider if the other parent will be away and receives a last minute type cancellation.

A parent that has a court ordered schedule with a day and pick-up time who is completely inconsistent might have the schedule reduced if the other parent files a request to modify due to the failure to regularly visit. A custodial parent should not be required to prep the child, stay home to deliver the child and then the other parent is a no-show for weeks in a row. The custodial parent has the right to consistency and to know whether the child will be with them or the other parent. Failure to exercise parenting time is often viewed by the court as a lack of interest and subject to schedule reduction.

A non-custodial parent who cancels a school recess visitation may create havoc for the other parent who thought that they could go away without the child only to find that they must now either take the child with them, change their plans or find an appropriate person to care for the child all on short notice.

Perhaps the best advice is for the custodial parent to encourage the other parent as well as the child so that the parenting time is not seen as a chore but rather an opportunity for mutual enjoyment.

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