One of the most frightening things that can happen to a married person is to be served with a Divorce Summons. Nobody wants a stranger coming to their home and handing them legal papers. Reading the allegations or the list of what your spouse wants is both emotionally and financially upsetting.
While you may believe that the items requested by your spouse have been custom drafted for your case, it is more than likely that they are predominantly the standard requests made by divorce attorneys. It is important to know that your attorney will request similar things on your behalf and then your spouse can be equally upset.
Keep track of the day that you received the papers because there is a time period of 20 days to answer or "appear" in response to the Summons. You should immediately begin researching divorce attorneys so that you make the right choice from the beginning. If you know an attorney you may want to get a referral. If you have a friend or family member that has been divorced ask for a recommendation if they were satisfied with their attorney. Read reviews and visit the website of the attorney.
If paying for an attorney may be difficult for you consider whether you have available credit on a credit card or if a family member may be able to lend you the money until your case is resolved or you possibly receive an order requiring your spouse to pay all or part of your attorney's fees.
Begin making a list of your assets and debts. Obtain a copy of your most recent tax return. Copy any financial statements for bank, investment and retirement accounts. Keep a copy of any large bills that have to be paid and open credit card balances.
Stay involved in your children's activities, education, religious training, medical needs and other daily events.
Choose an attorney that is experienced, that understands your concerns and that you are confident will provide you with dedicated representation and good advice. Remember that the case will be resolved and 98% of cases settle without a trial so your case will probably be in that large group.